Disturbances

This past week here in my country has been worrisome. It was a week full of disturbances. People are very upset because the country is having a serious problem with social security and the retirement and pension benefits. This problem started a long time ago when the people who were in power back then started stealing from the Dept. of social security.

FYI, my country from the seventies all the way to the eighties was under a military dictatorship. I was young at the time but I remember how people used to go out to the streets and have protests and try to fight against the government. But it was useless. During that time there was no freedom of speech, no freedom on the media, if you said anything against the government you would find yourself in deep trouble. There were thousands of people missing during those years. People were tortured and they could come into your house take your husband away and you would never see him again. I believe that is a very dark part of our history. Finally the man in power, Manuel A. Noriega, was removed by an american invasion on december of 1989. I remember that night as if it was yesterday. It was december 20, 1989, like around just past midnight. There were rumors of an invasion, but nobody knew when. Everybody was on a christmas mood, even though the atmosphere was very tense. A few days before there had been an incident involving some american soldiers and panamanian police. Back then, american troops where still here, they left Panama when they return the Panama Canal to the panamanian government on Dec. 31, 1999. Returning to the early morning hours of december 20th, I was already asleep, I think I had just gotten out of school for christmas break. I remember waking up suddenly from a deep sleep (I was really tired) and sitting up on my bed and hearing these very loud noises, like fireworks, but like next door. Seconds later my mom came in and almost shouted at me "they came in, they came in, they are invading". Of course I already knew who she meant, everybody was like expecting something to happen. I ran after her to the balcony of our house, and my whole family was already there. You could see in the horizon these big flashes of light, they were lighting up the night. That was a long night, you just heard the sounds. My brothers were studying in Miami at the time, my older brother had come a few days before, but my middle brother was supposed to travel that same day Dec. 20th, of course I think he found out about the invasion even before us, because his flight was cancelled. But he couldn't call, all incoming and outbound calls were suspended. We were without electricity for a few days. At the time we were left without law enforcement agents, because they were the ones being pursued by the american soldiers, and then the vandalism started. People started looting everything they could get their hands on. It was a shameful attitude. You saw people carrying TV's, mattresses, food, turkeys, ham, clothes. It was awful. And at the beginning the american soldiers did nothing, later they did, but the damage was already done. We were going through an economical crisis before the invasion and after the looting there were many businesses which never opened again. It was to hard a blow for them. Very uncertain times but God has lifted the country back up.

Now back to this past week. In order to try to save the social security the government today wants to do some reforms because if they don't they say is going to go bankrupt. Among some of the reforms, they want to increase the retirement age for both men and women, they want us to contribute more and the employer's % is going to be higher, and some other ones. Well, working people and laborers don't want these reforms and have been protesting against them. They have been doing marches and meetings and protests. This past week there have been some nasty confrontations between the police and the people... people arrested, tear gas, gunshots, stores have been vandalized, windows broken, private vehicles damaged, it's spooky, it takes you back to a past you don't particularly want to remember. And they have displayed thousands of policemen on the streets. It's weird because it reminds you of the time when we had a military (just FYI after the invasion we had the police but they decided not to have an army, like military men) by the way they are dressed, and the weapons they are carrying, and the amount of them you see on the streets (you see them like every other corner). I went to the supermarket one of those days and on the entrance there was a police with a trained dog, a very mean-looking rottweiler, when I saw that I thought "this is not normal...things do change in the blink of an eye". Tomorrow a new working week starts, let us see what happens. Because the government does not want to back up and neither do the people. I might not like the reforms, but I also know that something has to be done, if not it's going to be much worse later and there would be no social security for future generations. But I also believe that the government is rushing through this, it is suspicious that they want to approve these reforms so fast without giving people the time to study them in more detail and try to calculate the consequences. I believe that they should do a referendum.

Principle of fertilization

Genesis 1

• Incubation - verse 2 - the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.
• Proclamation - verse 3 - And God said.
• Revelation - verse 3 - Let there be light...understanding of what God wants, when there is light you can see things that otherwise you couldn't.
• Expansion - verse 6 - Let there be an expanse.
• Fertilization - verses 9-13

Fertilization

Is the capacity of being fruitful. All the creative acts of God from Genesis 1:1 through Genesis 1:25 were done so that man could be placed on that creation, so that the one who was going to be created on the sixth day could live in fullness.

In this passage God spoke twice instead of once, in verses 9 and 11. Here God doesn't create anything He just says "be gathered together" (v. 9). The waters were already created but they were covering the earth.

2 Peter 3:5 - For they deliberately overlook this fact, that the heavens existed long ago, and the earth was formed out of water and through water by the word of God.

Psalms 24:1-2 - The earth is the LORD's and the fullness thereof, the world and those who dwell therein, for he has founded it upon the seas and established it upon the rivers.

Jeremiah 5:22 - Do you not fear me? declares the LORD; Do you not tremble before me? I placed the sand as the boundary for the sea, a perpetual barrier that it cannot pass; though the waves toss, they cannot prevail; though they roar, they cannot pass over it.

Psalms 104: 5-9 - He set the earth on its foundations, so that it should never be moved. You covered it with the deep as with a garment; the waters stood above the mountains. At your rebuke they fled; at the sound of your thunder they took to flight. The mountains rose, the valleys sank down to the place that you appointed for them. You set a boundary that they may not pass, so that they might not again cover the earth.

Job 26:10 - He has inscribed a circle on the face of the waters at the boundary between light and darkness.

Psalms 33:7 - He gathers the waters of the sea as a heap; he puts the deeps in storehouses.

Proverbs 8:29 - when he assigned to the sea its limit, so that the waters might not transgress his command, when he marked out the foundations of the earth.

The waters were surrounding all the earth but for whom was the earth created? For man. Man couldn't live on the earth the way it was, it was not an environment for him. The waters had to occupy a space in a way that they could be a blessing towards man but also that they would allow man to live on earth as well.

If you look at a globe, you'll see that all the waters on earth are united at one place or another. All the rivers run towards the sea, but the sea never overflows or fills. All the waters in the world go towards the sea but the sea never fills. The Nile, the Mississippi, the Missouri. Are they capable of filling out the sea? No...because the waters were "gathered together into one place" to leave a space for man. Verse 10 says: "and the waters that were gathered together he called Seas."

1. Gathering together

God didn't create anything new, this time He simply arranged what was already created. To arrange it (or give order to it) He had to "gather", to "place together". A person who has no order in his life will never be fertile. If you are a parent who lets his child go to sleep at whatever time he wants to go to sleep, or to wake up at whatever time he wants to wake up, or to demand this and that from you. Beware!

To be fertile you have to "gather together" what God has given you. Learn how to "gather together" things that are positive. People who love God should surround themselves with people who also love God. People of faith with other people of faith. If a person likes to gossip, he'll get together with another person who also likes to gossip.

To be able to "gather together" you also have to separate. The waters couldn't be on the sea and on the earth at the same time. To be able to join someone you'll probably have to separate yourself from someone else. To link with a good habit, you'll have to separate yourself from the bad habit. To link with faith, you'll have to separate yourself from incredulity. To link with courage, you'll have to separate yourself from fear. To unite with holiness, you have to separate yourself from sin. To unite with things of God, you have to separate yourself from things of the world. Whatever did not joined the earth, joined the sea. The Bible talks about on 2 Cor. 6:14 about not being "unequally yoked". This not only refers to marriage but also friendships. Join or gather together with what or who is going to bless you and not with what or who is going to hold you back.

2. Discovery

Verse 9 - let the dry land appear.

The dry land that appeared now...where was it before? Under the waters. It was there but it was underwater. The problem sometimes is that we don't learn to discover what already exists. The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 1:9 that "there is nothing new under the sun." To be fertile we have to able to discover what is already there. It existed but it was covered before. Do you know how many things might be covered? Things may be covered:

• by ignorance - for example they used to place leeches on people who had a fever ignoring that it was actually worst. What helped the fever had always been there but it hadn't been discovered yet. The Bible says in Hosea 4:6 "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge" but it also says in James 1:5 that "if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him."
• by time - the time of uncovering has not arrived, the time arrives when God decides to uncover it.
• by powers - for example it's not convenient for oil companies that someone discovers someday how cars can run using water, because that will be the day they will loose their power. It might be a boss or a co-worker that is not letting your abilities be uncovered. But the Bible says in 1 John 4:4 "for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world", Jeremiah 20:11 "But the LORD is with me as a dread warrior", 2 Cor. 10:4 "For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds".
• by the devil - God sometimes allows the devil to do things...for example Job didn't know that everything that was happening to him, the loss of goods, death of his children, his illness, where all because satan had asked God for him. When the trial was over Job said: "I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted. 'Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge? 'Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. 'Hear, and I will speak; I will question you, and you make it known to me.' I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you; therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes." Also read Luke 22:31 and Job 1:7-12 where it says "The LORD said to Satan, "From where have you come?" Satan answered the LORD and said, "From going to and fro on the earth, and from walking up and down on it." And the LORD said to Satan, "Have you considered my servant Job, that there is none like him on the earth, a blameless and upright man, who fears God and turns away from evil?" Then Satan answered the LORD and said, "Does Job fear God for no reason? Have you not put a hedge around him and his house and all that he has, on every side? You have blessed the work of his hands, and his possessions have increased in the land. But stretch out your hand and touch all that he has, and he will curse you to your face." And the LORD said to Satan, "Behold, all that he has is in your hand. Only against him do not stretch out your hand." So Satan went out from the presence of the LORD." Notice how satan doesn't say "let me stretch out my hand and touch all that he has"? He can't touch us unless God gives him permission to do so. The Bible also says in Luke 10:19 "I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing shall hurt you" and in Romans 16:20 "The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet".
• by God himself - in 2 Kings 4:27 when the Shunammite came to Elisha he said "the LORD has hidden it from me and has not told me." In 1 Samuel 16:6-7 God did not reveal to Samuel at first which of Jesse's sons was going to be anointed as king. Samuel thought it was David's brother because of his appearance - "When they came, he looked on Eliab and thought, "Surely the LORD's anointed is before him." But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart." The one God wanted for king was covered. God covers things from us because he might want us to be dependent on Him and only on Him, or He wants us to be sensible to what He wants to do in us. We just have to keep on going, trusting Him.

But God do wants us to discover. How many talents might be covered? Maybe by memories, maybe by your subconscious that remembers how that stepfather treated you, maybe by poverty, maybe by a low self-esteem. The gifts and talents are there but they might be covered. For example Beethoven, deafness wanted to cover him, but it was then that he composed the most beautiful music. Great painters started to paint when they were over 60 years of age, don't let age cover you.

Discover the dry land, which exists, but that we don't know it does. However...God does know. The Bible says in Isaiah 45:3 " I will give you the treasures of darkness and the hoards in secret places". When you start discovering the secrets God wants to give you, you'll start producing also.

Father please uncover what it's in me that I don't know.

Genesis 28:16 - "Surely the LORD is in this place, and I did not know it."

3. Production

Verse 11.

While the land is covered there is no production. Why didn't God tell the land to produce before? Because it was covered by the waters. God didn't say "let there be plants" or "let there be trees", He said "sprout" "produce". It means that the seed was already in the land. When God lets you uncover something or when He uncovers something, it comes with the seed, with the capacity to germinate, to produce. On the dry land was the seed of fertility but the waters were a hindrance. When your mind is filled with anxiety, worries, beer, smoke from cigarettes or marihuana you can't produce anything. You have to separate and gather together, you have to discover and then you'll produce. Production is a process. First you join, you gather together (gather everything positive); then you discover (ask God to uncover what might be covered) then God said produce (sprout). This is a process is not instantaneous. What did the land sprout? verse 12 "The earth brought forth vegetation, plants yielding seed according to their own kinds, and trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind". The plants and the trees were to sustain whatever later was going to sustain man. To guarantee that there would be new plants, the plants had a seed. If you eat the seed instead of sowing it, you are going to be left without plants.

The tree gives fruits and inside the fruits is the seed. The tree is a longer process than the plant and it has to do with what you do in life. It needs growth, development and maturing. The plants are of short duration the trees are of long life. Let God form you as a tree to bear fruit. The trees provide shadow and animals come and have shelter on them. The land was uncovered so that there would be trees.

Psalms 1:1-3 "Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers."

4. Foresight and provision

God foresees and provides beforehand. He didn't wait until the animals (they weren't created until the 5th day) or man were created. He prepared everything in advance. God can provide before the need comes. There doesn't have to be a need for Him to provide. He is preparing you for something that He knows is coming but you don't. He might be giving you money for a future shortage. He might be giving you a strength of character for a future trial. He might be revealing something in His word for you to share later with somebody else.

It also says in verse 12 that everything was "according to its kind". You can't sow an apple seed and expect to have a fig tree or reap grapes. Of course you will be reaping apples. He who sows iniquity will reap iniquity. He who sows resentment will reap resentment. It says in Galatians 6:7 "Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap." Choose the good seed...if you sow faith you'll reap faith; if you sow love you'll reap love. The type of seed you sow will determine what you'll produce.

Agape Love

I was browsing through the net because I wanted to see if agape love is spelled in english the same way it is spelled in spanish, and it is. I found an interesting article while browsing that showed me once more how far away I am of being the way God wants me to be and how much I really yearn to be more like Him, even though it is difficult because sin is still dwelling within me. As it says in Romans 7:14-25 - For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.

Thanks be to God indeed! I find it very interesting and it gives me great hope that just after acknowledging that with his flesh he serves the law of sin, immediately after Paul also says that "there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do." (Rom. 8:1-3) and also..."but if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness" (Rom. 8:10).

Now...returning to the article, the part that caught my eye the most is when the writer asks you to reflect on 1 Corinthians 13. That kind of love that is talked about in this chapter can only come through God, God is that kind of love. Is not a type of love that flows naturally from us, we need to have God in our lives to be able to experience this love and to be able to share it with others, because as humans and sinners what flows from us is the total opposite of what it says in 1 Cor. 13. I meditated on the questions put out in the article and I found myself lacking on several of them, so it has helped me regroup and ask God to make me more like Him everyday. I really do want to be able to show His love with my life. To be able to stop thinking about myself and think more of what can I do to show God's love to others. Not my kind of love but His.

So now I'll give you the questions so that you can see how you are doing.

As you reflect on these qualities of love from 1 Corinthians 13, ask the Lord to show you how your love measures up to His.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up (1 Corinthians 13:4).

• Are you patient when people inconvenience or bother you?
• Are you kind with your tongue, using well-chosen words to encourage others?
• Are you genuinely glad when someone else is promoted, gets a raise, or is recognized-and you are overlooked?
• Are you content with the basic necessities of life and a right relationship with God?
• Do you boast about your abilities, gifts, accomplishments, or possessions?
• Are you content to do good works without recognition or praise?
• Do you harbor a spirit of pride-an inflated view of yourself?
  
  Love does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil (v. 5).

• Do you have good manners?
• Do you use sarcasm or put-downs that show disrespect?
• Do you consciously look out for the welfare of others above your own?
• Do you fly off the handle or blow up when "crossed?"
• Are you often touchy or thin-skinned?
• Do you keep track of others' offenses or hold a grudge?
• Do you focus on people's quirks and weaknesses instead of their strengths?
  
  Love does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in truth (v. 6).

• Do you love righteousness? Do you hate evil?
• Are you grieved when you or another believer sins?
• Do you welcome others sharing the truth with you about your life and needs?
• Do you rejoice when truth triumphs? When people turn to God and change?
  
  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (v. 7).

• Are you willing to endure hardships for the sake of others without complaining?
• Have you learned to patiently trust God through the darkest circumstances of life?
• Do you assume positively on people, giving them the benefit of the doubt?
• Have you given up on God's ability to change certain people?
• Does your love remain strong through testing, even when faced with humanly insurmountable obstacles?
• Do you keep loving, even when your efforts are rejected or seem unsuccessful?

I hope these questions will help you reflect and if there are some qualities that you might improve with God's help, please go ahead.

If you would like to read the whole article you can find it at Crosswalk, it's called "How's your love life?

I was shocked...

...maybe I shouldn't have been, but I was. Over the weekend I ran into a good friend, whom I hadn't seen in a while, so we hadn't had the opportunity to talk. She got married last year and she told me she is currently separating from her husband. I was somewhat surprised, but not entirely. At the time when she told me she was getting married, I asked her if she was sure. There were somethings that I had noticed that didn't totally convinced me, but she said yes, that she was sure. I believe there are some things as a Christian (specially if your family is also Christian, which is her case) that can point you are going in the right direction. Parents agreement on both sides I think is very important. As much as we would like to say..."but no...I am marrying him/her, not his/her family"...in some sense this is true, but it is also true that you will have to deal with the family also. You'll avoid a lot of headaches if you just have the parents blessing. Which was not her case in the beginning, then her parents kind of accepted the situation that she was going to get married anyway. Then I also felt they had different views of ministry. She is someone who likes to participate a lot in church, him...I just started seeing him come to church when he came with her, at that time. I can't say now. This is something that I personally didn't witness, but a friend told me that once, when they were still going out not married yet, she saw him talking to her in a harsh way. I thought, if he is treating her like that now, how will he treat her when they are married? Also I felt that she was rushing, that she felt that she was already at an age where she should get married. I don't know in other cultures, but in the panamanian culture they kind of put pressure on you, that you have to get married at a certain age if not then you'll be too old later, specially women. Of one thing I am sure is that nobody is going to rush me into this decision, not my family, not society, not people at church, nobody. It is too important a decision to rush through it. I believe that after the decision of accepting Christ the second decision of importance in life is who you are going to marry. When God time comes it will come, if it doesn't come, so be it I will accept God's will, but I really do want to get married. Both my brothers are divorced, I definitely do not want to go through that. So I talked to her about it, but she said she was sure. There was not much I could do then. After they got married I prayed that they would have a good marriage, that whatever I had felt at the time wouldn't become a reality in their lives. But now here we are one year later and they are already divorcing. It's sad. As far as I understand divorce rates among Christians are as high as non-Christians. We are sometimes so hard-headed, God is pointing in this direction but we want to go the other way.

I pray God to always give me a heart who can listen to Him. That I can do whatever He tells me to do. And that when I make the decision of who I am going to share the rest of my life with, I can be 100% sure that God is at the top of our relationship and that we both have similar goals and perspectives. It would be really hard to make a marriage work if I want to go this way and my husband wants to go in a totally opposite direction. I have to admit that sometimes I worry that I would make the wrong decision, but I am reminded then that my life is in His hands.

I am going to visit my friend to talk more to her. I know she must be going through very difficult times right now and a divorce can lower your self-esteem, your worth as an individual, you can feel like a failure. God will have to do a lot of restoring in her. I hope God can use me and give her maybe a little bit of comfort through me. I will be praying a lot for her and him as only God can restore whatever they have lost in this process.

Today I was watching a program where they were talking about relationships and dating and the lady who was speaking said something that I thought was a very interesting point of view. In the greek there are 3 types of love (I don't know exactly how to say them in english so I'll just go ahead and say them the way we say them in spanish, actually greek I guess). What in english and spanish we just call love in greek has three different perspectives. There is "fileo (phileo) love" which is like a brotherly love, the one you feel towards family and friends, there is "eros love" which refers to romantic or sexual love and there is "agape love" which is the perfect love, the one that is God, the one that never expects anything in return. The lady speaking said that she fits all these types of love into a pyramid, where "agape love" should be on the bottom of the pyramid, as a foundation, we should try to have this type of love as much as we can in our lives. Then at the middle of the pyramid we should have "phileo love", those special people we care about in our lives. And then at the top "eros love" that should be with only one person, our husband or wife. But we have it all backwards nowadays. People have "eros love" at the bottom, as the foundation. They base their relationships on looks, on sexual attraction and instead of being the narrowest part of the pyramid is the widest, so instead of having one sexual partner, people are having many. And then they have "agape love" at the top, very narrow, very little of that type of love in their lives (actually this type of love I believe you can only have it when you have God in your life). Also she said that we live in the age of the microwave, instant coffee, drive thru, and people sometimes want to have their relationships the same way. They don't want to take the time to know the other person, they rush through things and once they are married they find out that they have married a total stranger, someone that they don't really know, but since they were attracted sexually they felt good about marriage. So then they end up having good sex for 1/2 hour and then they don't know what to do with this person for the other 23 & 1/2 hours of the day as they don't have anything to talk about or share. You need time to get to know another person, and even with time once you are married you are going to discover a lot of things that you didn't know about him/her.

A little bit of this, a little bit of that

These last couple of days have been hectic for me and my family as we were trying to spend as much time as possible with my niece, who already left on Thursday may 19 to South Carolina. I've prayed a lot for her and her mother. For their safety and I do hope they are really happy there. I've felt ok about it, but it still makes me a little bit sad. Last week the weirdest thing happened, this is something that hadn't happened to me since I was a child. I don't know if I was dreaming or not, but I woke up with my face all wet with tears. I immediately knew it was because of my niece, so I guess in my subconscious I am really sad that she is leaving. But I surrender her to God's infinite care. I mean, who can take better care of her than Him?

She'll be coming back for holidays and her mom told me that her husband is retiring in 10 years and they'll be retiring here in Panama. Probably by that time Amy will stay in the U.S., which is fine, she'll have the opportunity of going to college there. Also I might go visit them sometime...they are going to live in Pickens, SC. The day before they left we were spending our last few hours with Amy and then we took her to her mom's. My ex-sister in law kept inviting me over and over to come visit them. She said that I will really like it, that the place is beautiful and she was already setting me up with her husbands nephews...I was like...wait, hold on! She had many praises for her husband and her husbands family, which I think is great, because I believe that you should be able to admire and respect your partner, but not only him, but his family also. It would be really nice to visit another place in the U.S. besides Miami. In Miami it' so funny, most of the people speak spanish or know a little bit of spanish. I would like to go to another state for a change. I have another friend who is in TX, she just got engaged, so hopefully I will be able to go for her wedding, even though I don't even know when it is. Another friend of the family was here in Panama recently and she invited me to come visit her in Kentucky. Her husband is due to go to Iraq so she'll be all alone with her mom. So I have SC, TX or KY.

I hope I can travel this year. The last time I was in the US was for my cousins wedding back in 2000. So it has been 5 years already!! My visa expired in 2001 so I have to renew it. I hope I don't have any trouble, because people have been telling me that after September 11 they have been very difficult at handing out visas. You have to pay $100 to get the appointment at the embassy, then you go with all your paperwork, have the interview and if they deny your visa you loose your $100. I don't think that is fair and I believe Americans who come to Panama, don't even need a visa, how come? I guess that happens when you are one of the most powerful countries in the world.

Last Friday the 13th I had a great time. It was a friend's birthday and we went out to dinner. It was great! I had so much fun. It reminded me of times when I was younger and things in life were a lot lighter. Things have really changed in a couple of years, but I thank God because I believe that I am stronger and more dependent of Him and also I know that my strength comes from Him and not myself. If it would have depended upon me probably I would have given up a long time ago, but you just have to keep on fighting. I firmly believe what it says in Romans 5:3-5 - More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Going back to my friend's birthday, we went to eat at this italian restaurant that is by the ocean. It was beautiful and I really had a nice time. I have so many responsibilities with my family that sometimes I forget to have more free time for myself. Sometimes responsibilities can be overwhelming specially when you have several people depending on you. I don't think I have mentioned this before in the blog but I will know, so that you can better understand. For reasons that I am not going to go into details here, my family now is basically supported by me. My grandma also contributes but she doesn't have that much, so I have the major responsibility. My older brother gives some for electricity and telephone expenses, but he is using what it used to be our study as an office, so basically he is paying for what he is using. My other brother recently moved back in. He is going through a very serious depression, so now I am supporting my dad, my mom, my grandma (partially), my brother and myself. So all our needs as a family come first, my preferences as an individual come second. I do have to say that God has given me what I consider a gift, because sometimes is very hard, and that is to be able to stop myself no matter how much I like or want something. I don't buy anything unless I know it is absolutely necessary and that it's going to be very, very, very useful. Maybe that is something God wanted us to learn, before when my father had his business whenever we wanted something we could have it. Not now. I have learned to manage what God has given me and always set apart what belongs to Him first. I have friends that say: "when I saw it I just had to have it" and then they end up in debt. Not me, God has taught self-control with money. I often wonder, why is God allowing me to be the one supporting my family? I am after all the youngest. It would seem more reasonable that one of my older brothers helped us while we are going through these difficult times, but that is not the case, on the contrary they are going through difficult times themselves.
As everything God does there is a purpose with this. I believe He is molding our characters, teaching us to die to ourselves. Sometimes I get upset with my brother (the one currently staying with us) because I can't believe he doesn't want to get up and go to work. But then I am reminded that "we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places" (Ep. 6:12) and that "the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds" (2 Cor. 10:4). It is no with him that I need to fight against, but I need to pray to God so that the spirit of depression will go away. Only God can change his disposition. I don't want to be like the older brother in the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32). So I am trying to do everything possible to help my brother, but I do tell him on his face that he needs to snap out of it and get back with his life. Where is God? Is this God that he says he believes in so weak? I know the answers but it seems my brother has forgotten them. I have to confess that I resented at the beginning that on top everything else, now I was also going to help support him. It meant an increase on all my expenses. Electricity, water, telephone, food, groceries, everything. But then God rebuked me and reminded me "what if it was you in this situation?"....so....I am learning Father, I am learning. But my flesh is weak that is why I need YOU so much, Father. I can relate to David in Psalms 13, specially when he asks: "How long?" but also when he says "but I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation". It reminds me that I am not the first, nor the last, nor the only one experiencing something like this.

If you are reading this and you are Christian I would appreciate your prayers because we are planning on opening a new family business. We don't have any money so it would all be through the grace of God. God willing it would be a relief for the whole family.

Joshua 1:8-9 & Ephesians 1

Please, don't pay attention to any mistakes with my english!

:-)...blessings!

Mother's Day

We are not celebrating Mother's Day today here in Panama (we do it on Dec. 8), but I think it's celebrated today on the rest of the world. So to all you mother's out there I hope you have a happy celebration along with family and friends. And to all of you who have a mother still alive, take your time to spend with her or give her a call. I do not believe on only doing this on mother's day, but as frequently as possible.

I received this story and I would like to share it with you.

-- Motherhood - It will change your life --

We are sitting at lunch when my daughter usually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family". "We're taking a survey," she says, half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?" "It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. "I know,"she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations...."

But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal,but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking"What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die. I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a souffle or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation.

I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of her discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is alright.

I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of flattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester maybe lurking in that restroom.

However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years - not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.

I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks. I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children's future.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or a cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real, it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reach across the table, squeeze my daughter's hand and offer a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.

This blessed gift from God . . .

that of being a Mother.

The incomparable sufferings

I'm reading a book called Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ by John Piper. I am taking my time with it and what I am going to post today is chapter 8 of this book. It was too good not to post it. When I read it, tears just came to my eyes (sometimes I don't like that but I guess that's just me). It reminded me again about Jesus love, that it's so great that He gave His life for me. It humbled me, because I know I did not deserve it, but still He did it for me. Some of my thoughts are in blue.

Thank you so much Jesus! My life without you would be no life at all! Forgive me for not always showing you to others and for failing you in so many ways. Help me be a mirror of your love and compassion. Help me die to myself so that you can shine through me. I love you.

The anguish of Jesus Christ

The agonies of God's Son were incomparable. No one ever suffered like this man.

No one deserved suffering less, yet received so much. The stamp of God on this perfect life is found in two words: "without sin" (Hebrews 4:15). The only person in history who did not deserve to suffer, suffered most. He "committed no sin, neither deceit was found in his mouth" (1 Peter 2:22). None of Jesus' pain was penalty for his sin. He had no sin.

Could you imagine paying yourself for what another person did? It is hard for us humans to understand this. We would probably say, he did it, let him pay for what he did. But not Jesus, oh no, and thank God for that.

Therefore, no one has ever had a greater right to retaliate, but used it less. He had at his disposal infinite power to take revenge at any moment in his agony. "Do you think that I cannot appeal to my Father, and he will at once send me more than twelve legions of angels?" (Matthew 26:53). But he did not do it. When every judicial sentiment in the universe cried out "Unjust!" Jesus was silent. "He gave (Pilate) no answer, not even to a single charge" (Matthew 27:14). Nor did he refute false ridicule: "When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered he did not threaten" (1 Peter 2:23). Nor did he defend himself in response to Herod's interrogation: "He made no answer" (Luke 23:9). No one has ever borne so much injustice with so little vengeance.

He had the right but he didn't use it. He could have cried out to his Father and in a second everything would be over, no more pain, no more scorning, nothing. But he didn't. He could've opened his mouth to defend himself, but he didn't. Can you do anything else but admire him? I can't...I kneel before him in total surrender and recognition for what he did.

This was not because the torment was tolerable. If we had been forced to watch, we probably would have passed out. In the garden, "His sweat became like great drops of blood falling down to the ground" (Luke 22:44). In the middle of the night, before the high priest, "they spit in his face and struck him. And some slapped him" (Matthew 26:67). Before the governor they"scourged" him (Matthew 27:26). Eusebius (about A.D. 300) described Roman scourging of Christians like this: "At one time they were torn by scourges down to deep-seated veins and arteries, so that the hidden contents of the recesses of their bodies, their entrails and organs, were exposed to sight."

I am reading this again and as I am writing it I can't help wincing. My Lord, what incomparable sufferings indeed, and all for us. And what do many people do with what he did, nothing...absolutely nothing. Like if it never happened. Jesus please forgive us.

In his agony the soldiers toyed with him. They dressed him in mock robes of royalty. They began to "cover his face and to strike him, saying to him, 'Prophesy!' And the guards received him with blows" (Mark 14:65). A crown of thorns was pressed down on his head--made worse by being driven into his skull with blows. "They were striking his head with a reed and spitting on him and kneeling down in homage to him" (Mark 15:19). In this condition he was unable to carry his own cross (Matthew 27:32).

The torture and shame continued. He was stripped. His hands and feet were nailed to the cross (Acts 2:23; Psalms 22:16). The mockery was unrelenting through the terrible morning. "Hail, King of the Jews!" "You who would destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, save yourself! If you are the Son of God, come down from the cross" (Matthew 27:29,40). Even one of the criminals "railed at him" (Luke 23:39).

It was a hideous death. The International Standard Bible Encyclopedia tells us, "The wounds swelled about the rough nails, and the torn and lacerated tendons and nerves caused excruciating agony. The arteries of the head and stomach were surcharged with blood and a terrific throbbing headache ensued....The victim of crucifixion literally died a thousand deaths...The suffering was so frightful that 'even among the raging passions of war, pity was sometimes excited.' "

All this came upon the "friend of sinners," not with brothers at his side, but utterly abandoned. Judas had betrayed him with a kiss (Luke 22:48). Peter had denied him three times (Matthew 26:75). "All the disciples left him and fled" (Matthew 26:56). And in the darkest hour of the history of the world, God the Father struck his own Son with our punishment. "We esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted" (Isaiah 53:4). The only person in the world who truly knew God (Matthew 11:27) cried out, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46).

Jesus suffering was not only physical, but emotional (everybody had left him) and spiritual (for one time in history he was separated from his Father while carrying all of our sins). It must have been awful for him. And all for us. Do we deserve all what he did? No... but he choose to do it anyways out of his love for us.

Never before or since has there been such suffering, because, in all its dreadful severity, it was a suffering by design. It was planned by God the Father and embraced by God the Son. "It was the will of the LORD to crush him; he has put him to grief" (Isaiah 53:10). Jesus was "delivered up according to the definite plan and foreknowledge of God" (Acts 2:23). Herod, Pilate, the soldiers, and the Jews did to Jesus "whatever (God's) hand and....plan had predestined to take place" (Acts 4:28). Down to the details, the sufferings of the Son were written in the Scriptures. "Jesus, knowing that all was now finished, said (to fulfill the Scripture), 'I thirst'" (John 19:28).

Not only was it suffering by design, but also by obedience. Jesus embraced the pain. He chose it--"obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross" (Philippians 2:8). And his obedience was sustained by faith in his Father. "When he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly" (1 Peter 2:23). "Father, into your hands I commit my spirit!" (Luke 23:46).

In that faith "he set his face to go to Jerusalem" (Luke 9:51). Why? He had set his face to die. "And what shall I say, 'Father, save me from this hour'? But for this purpose I have come to this hour" (John 12:27). He lived in order to die.

He lived in order to die. He died so that we may live. In his death there is life for us. How extraordinary.

Therefore, the suffering and weakness of Jesus were a work of his sovereign power. "No one takes (my life) from me, but I lay it down of my own accord" (John 10:18). He freely chose to join the Father's design for his own suffering and death.

And what was that design? To be a substitute for us, so that we might live. "The Son of Man came...to give his life as ransom fro many" (Mark 10:45). "He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree" (1 Peter 2:24). "The LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all" (Isaiah 53:6).

And the goal of it all? "Greater love has no man than this, that someone lays down his life for his friends" (John 15:13). Yes, but to what end? What does love pursue? Two great purposes were accomplished in the sufferings of Christ, which are really one purpose. First, "Christ...suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God" (1 Peter 3:18). The sufferings of Jesus brought us to God who is fullness of joy and pleasure forevermore. Second, in the very hour of death the Father and the Son were glorified. "Now is the Son of Man glorified, and God is glorified in him" (John 13:31). Our joy in savoring God and his glory in saving us are one. That is the glory of Christ's incomparable sufferings.

He is the bridge that filled the gap between us and God. We are so unworthy but still he decided to bridge that gap; without him we would be completely lost. Jesus love is too deep, too pure, too intense to comprehend. There is no love like his. If I think I am loved by family and friends, their love does not begin to compare to Jesus love. To think of all he had to go through because of his love for me, but he did it knowingly. When he agreed to the Father's plan, He knew how much he was going to suffer, that he was going to be ridiculed, spat at, struck at, pierced, separated from his Father, but still his love for us is so great that he went through it all. He didn't deserve any of that, we did. But we were spared having to go through all that. There isn't anything we can do to repay him, it was his gift to us. And what a gift! Thank you Jesus!